The Florida Morons Thread

[turkeytop]

Caught with her pants down.

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. -- A Winter Haven woman was arrested Thursday morning after she boarded a school bus full of students, caused a scene and hit the driver.

According to police, around 6:05 a.m., 37-year-old Marsia Emanuel flagged down the bus on Renton Manor for an unknown reason. The driver, recognizing her as a parent of a student who rides the bus, stopped and opened the door to talk to her.

The driver told police she then got on the bus, and when the driver told her she wasn't allowed on the bus while there were students on board, she starting yelling at the driver in a foreign language while hitting her on the shoulder and arm.

When officers arrived at the scene, they were able to track Emanuel down at her home where she was uncooperative, ranting and yelling, and at one point pulled her underpants down.

Emanuel, of 7001 Brenton Manor Lane NE, was arrested and taken to the Polk County Jail on charges of Burglary to a Occupied Conveyance, Battery on School Personnel, School Disruption and Incident Exposure in Public.

A 15-year-old was also arrested for causing a disturbance on the bus and being uncooperative while officers were trying to investigate the incident.
WTSP

Hot? or Not?

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/arti ... t-Officers

[pbr]

Not.

[jry]

The photo is priceless.

[Larkin]

The photo is priceless.

It sure is.

I would pay ANY price for that.

[turkeytop]

Women who offered to flash their breasts for beer money 'pulled a knife on restaurant staff'... after getting NO takers


Two woman who ran out of beer money allegedly offered to flash their breasts to restaurant customers for cash.

But when they failed to get a single taker a row ensued, only ending when one allegedly pulled a knife on a restaurant worker and both got arrested.


Alicia Martin, 28, and Kathryn Rayannic, 23, who were celebrating after passing an exam, had drunk excessive quantities of beer at the bar, restaurant staff at The Waterfront in St. James City, Florida said.

But when they ran out of money the confident pair thought they could use their assets to fund their night out-going table to table offering to flash other restaurant customers for money.


'They were offering to show their boobs for drinks,' waiter Shaun Bassett told NBC2. 'We had five guys that were like, 'Please, leave us alone.' They actually went up to tables who had their wives there.'

After a total lack of interest the two got aggressive, restaurant staff said.
'Basically when they were turned down, they kind of got a little rowdy,' Bassett said.

When other customers complained, two restaurant workers attempted to evict the would-be flashers.


Martin allegedly responded by shoving the female employee into a wall, the arrest warrant states.

And outside in the parking lot, she punched the same worker in the back of the head, police say.

When her coworker, the cook, intervened to protect his colleague and confiscate Martin's car keys, she allegedly pulled a knife and threatened to stab him.

He was forced to back off leaving Martin to allegedly continue her assault on his coworker, until police arrived on the scene.

Martin has been charged with Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Battery. Rayannic is charged with Disorderly Conduct.

Hot?

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... staff.html

[Larkin]

Not.

At.

All.

[pbr]

Not in the slightest.

They just needed to tweak their idea a little... instead of asking for money to flash, they should have asked for money not to flash. Had they planned that detail out in advance, this could have all been averted.

[Larkin]

LARGO --A Pinellas Park woman angry about the time it was taking to get service in a fast-food restaurant's drive-thru lane rammed another car Saturday afternoon and sped away, police said.

Police said she became impatient while the driver in front of her ordered food from a KFC/Taco Bell, at 1648 Missouri Ave. S.

That's when the 24-year-old woman rammed her car into the other vehicle and drove off, police said.

Jennifer Lynn Betterly, of 9860 66th St., was arrested about an hour later.

According to an arrest report, she faces felony charges of aggravated battery and possession of a controlled substance. She also faces misdemeanor charges of driving with a suspended license, reckless driving, and leaving the scene of a crash.

According to the Pinellas County Jail, Betterly was released Sunday on $19,260 bail.

[jry]

Oh my gosh. Two trolls walk in and offer to "flash" for free beer?
Flash what? Are we sure that they are even women?

[turkeytop]

You beat me to it, Larkin. I was saving that one. In the interest of making this an equal opportunity, morons thread, I was looking for a male, moron story. Anyway, it shouldn't,the take too long to find one in Florida.

[turkeytop]

Here's an entire congregation of morons. A church in Jacksonville has banned children from attending, to accommodate the pedophile Pastor.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -
A Northside church has been at the center of a controversy for nearly a month since allowing a registered sex offender to return to the pulpit.

In 2009, Darrell Gilyard pleaded guilty to lewd conduct and lewd molestation. The victims were underage girls in his congregation at Shiloh Baptist Church.

In the past few weeks, Gilyard began preaching at Christ Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church on the Northside. His new position drew protests from other pastors and the New Black Panther Party.

Since taking the position, Gilyard would not speak to television reporters. Channel 4 looked up his address on the sex offender registry and went to a motel where he was staying in North Jacksonville.

The first time reporters approached Gilyard, he dropped his things and slammed the door. Moments later, he came outside and got into his car without saying a word.

Since joining Christ Tabernacle on North Davis Street, the congregation has had to adapt to changes. Under the terms of Gilyard's release, court documents show he is not allowed to have "unsupervised contact with children under 18 years old." The church agreed to ban children from Sunday service.

Sunday, a woman tried to bring a 2-year-old boy she babysits to services, but was turned away.

"They said for the next two weeks, no children are allowed," Wanda Evans said. "This is the second Sunday, no children, so next week's Sunday, kids will be able to be allowed."

Last week, members of the new Black Panther Party of Jacksonville promised to protest every Sunday that Gilyard was a pastor at the church. This Sunday, however, there were no demonstrations.

Copyright 2012 by News4Jax.com. All rights reserved.

http://www.news4jax.com/news/Kids-turne ... index.html

[Larkin]

CLEARWATER, Fla. — The skeletal remains of a woman who died in 1995 have been discovered in a storage unit in Florida, according to police.

The discovery Thursday came after the manager of the self-storage business in Clearwater called the person who leased the unit because she was behind on her rent.

The woman told him that her grandmother was in the storage unit.

Police found the remains inside a blue coffin.

A district manager for the facility said the family had been delinquent on monthly payments for Unit B8 since Dec. 1, The Tampa Bay Times reported.

Mother's remains?
The paper said the family had put old TVs, banana boxes and other things in the unit, which is not air-conditioned, for 25 years.

The woman who rented the unit told police that she learned about the coffin last year, when her mother told her as she was dying, the Times reported.

The Times said police did not think there was anything suspicious about the way the grandmother died.

Death certificates for the mother and the grandmother were found by police, the paper said.

Improper disposal of a body is a crime, the Times said, but no charges had yet been brought.

It added that, as of Thursday night, officers had not located the mother's remains.

[turkeytop]

I guess spending so much time in Florida leaves one jaded. I saw that story about the grandmother's remains on the news a few weeks ago. In Florida, that kind of thing no longer seems bizarre to me.

[turkeytop]

Deputies: Volusia Marine's mother steals money while he's away at war


By LYDA LONGA, Staff Report
February 15, 2012 12:10 PM


The mother of a Volusia County Marine has been arrested for taking money from her own son's bank account while he was deployed in Afghanistan, sheriff's officials said.

Paula Barker, 43, was arrested Tuesday evening at her home near Ormond Beach, Volusia County sheriff's spokesman Brandon Haught said. She is charged with fraudulent use of personal identification.

Sheriff's spokesman Brandon Haught said Chadwick Barker had been deployed between February and September 2011 and when he returned he noticed something was amiss with his bank account.

The 20-year-old Marine called the Sheriiff's Office in October and told them he suspected his mother was involved, according to a report.

When a sheriff's investigator spoke with Paula Barker in November, she denied knowledge of the situation, Haught said. But through their investigation, detectives were able to track bank transactions that were made between July 2011 and September 2011, to Paula Barker, Haught said.

Besides wiring money to herself via Western Union, Paula Barker also purchased a plane ticket with the money, Haught said.

Hot?


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Not?

http://www.news-journalonline.com/break ... s-say.html

[turkeytop]

Women charged in burning of 3,500-year-old tree


The Associated Press
Published: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 8:51 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 8:51 p.m.

LONGWOOD — Authorities say a central Florida woman is in jail, charged with setting a fire that burned one of the world's oldest cypress trees.

Investigators say two witnesses identified 26-year-old Sara Barnes as the person who caused the 118-foot-tall bald cypress tree named "The Senator" to burn and collapse Jan. 16.

The Seminole County parks department says ring samples showed the tree was roughly 3,500 years old.

The Orlando Sentinel reports that Barnes also took photos of the fire with her cellphone. The Office of Agricultural Law Enforcement searched Barnes' Winter Park home Tuesday and confiscated her cellphone and laptop. Authorities also reported finding methamphetamine, scales and drug paraphernalia. Barnes told investigators she set the fire while trying to use illegal drugs.

Jail records didn't say if Barnes had an attorney.

http://www.ocala.com/article/20120229/W ... r-old-tree

[umfan]

Looks like she might have been on meth.

[turkeytop]

A driver in Martin County, Fla. was arrested Friday for driving under the influence, with more than five times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood—and a "sexual anus plug in his rectum," for good measure.

A sheriff's deputy who responded to the incident discovered that Kevin Brann, 41, had rear-ended another vehicle on U.S. 1 and Seabranch Boulevard in Hobe Sound and smelled of recently-consumed alcohol. On their way to prison, according to a police affidavit, Brann urinated in his trousers, "soiled himself" and somehow dislodged the sex toy.

"He removed [the anal plug], or it fell out in the rear of my patrol car," the affidavit states.

Martin County police have not reported why Brann allegedly had an anal plug in his possession at the time of his arrest, according to Will Greenlee's Off the Beat blog on TCPalm.com.

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/weird/DU ... 67143.html

[umfan]

I cannot believe what actually gets reported.

[Larkin]

She pulled out both guns, err I mean both cannons.....err.....Never mind.....

A possible burglary in progress turned into a topless confrontation with a 31-year-old woman that ended in two arrests, according to recently released records.

The apparent boisterous bare-breasted brouhaha began about 2:30 a.m. March 25 in the 7300 block of State Road 60 in Vero Beach after a neighbor called in a possible burglary.

An Indian River County Sheriff's deputy approaching the residence heard what sounded like a disturbance along with glass breaking and two people yelling.

The investigator saw Susan Stickle, 31, and 44-year-old Eric Bachman on the porch. They looked intoxicated by drugs and booze and "clearly had no regard for the community in which they were located."

The deputy separated Bachman and Stickle. Told to put her hands on a car, Stickle hugged Bachman and "yelled slurred expletives."

When a deputy asked her name, Stickle yelled she had no ID and took off her shirt, revealing her bare chest.

On Stickle's chest is a tattoo listed as "Poem of dead tree," according to the Indian River County Sheriff's Office.

Meanwhile, Stickle got "irate" when instructed to put her shirt on and was taken into custody.

Bachman refused to give a reason for being in the home and wouldn't "explain that he actually belonged on the property, which I later learned from a neighbor."

Stickle, listed as homeless, and Bachman, whose listed address is in Chambersburg, Pa., each were arrested on disorderly conduct and resisting without violence charges.

Eric Bachmann


Susan Stickle

[Larkin]

CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. -

A Coral Springs woman has been arrested after police said she hit her boyfriend in the face after he called her "ugly" and refused to have sex with her.

Inez Nunez, 18, is charged with domestic battery.

Police went to the couple's home in the 5700 block of West 47th Court on Tuesday after Nunez's boyfriend called to say she hit him and pushed him.

Coral Springs police said Nunez admitted to slapping and pushing her boyfriend because he was "disrespectful."

Nunez was taken to the Broward County Jail. She was released after posting $2,500 bond.

[turkeytop]

Hot?

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[Audio]

Who cares.

I just want to know if he called her ugly before her request.

[umfan]

She's hardly ugly and she was probably very hurt by his comment.

Seriously, he called the police because she slapped him?

What a pansy.

[turkeytop]

So in Florida, it's OK to stalk and kill an unarmed kid, "in self defense", but stealing a drink from McD could bring you heavy jail time.

Man faces prison for allegedly stealing $1 soda from McDonald's

He's no Hamburglar. But a Florida man faces up to five years in prison after he was arrested on a felony charge of stealing a cup of soda from aMcDonald's.

The Collier County Sheriff's Department arrested Mark Abaire, 52, last week on a felony theft charge. Authorities say he went into the fast-food restaurant on 14th Street North in Naples, asked for a cup for water and was then seen filling the cup with soda before taking a seat outside the restaurant and sipping the beverage.

The manager confronted Abaire and asked him to pay for the $1 soda. Abaire apparently refused. He then reportedly cursed at the manager and refused to leave when asked to do so, according to the Naples News, which reviewed the arrest report.

Abaire, who is unemployed, has a history of minor petty theft convictions. That history led law enforcement officers to ratchet the case up from a misdemeanor to a felony.

And in tough-on-crime Florida, this category of felonies carries a prison sentence of up to five years along with a $5,000 fine. The suspect faces additional charges of trespassing and disorderly intoxication.

What's perhaps most interesting about this incident is the public reaction to the arrest. As we mentioned, Florida is known for its no-nonsense attitude toward lawbreakers.

Yet many commenters at the Naples News seemed none too happy about taxpayer money being used to keep Abaire behind bars, where he remains because he has not yet been able to make his $6,500 bail and is likely to remain if convicted of all the charges against him.

"So the taxpayer gets to pay for his lawyer, the trial, and his room and board all for the cost of a $1.00 soda which actually costs under a dime," said one poster.

"Wow! and with the mark-up on their sodas they couldn't just let it go? Waste. Of. Time and Money," said another.

Yet another commenter added: "Someone actually bothered the police with this?"

Of course, despite the overall tenor of the comments, one fed-up-with-crime poster had this to say: "Let him meet ole Sparky."

"Sparky" is a reference to the state's electric chair.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nati ... 6582.story

[umfan]

Usually something needs to be valued at $250 before it's considered a felony.